We are all mixtures of all of the structures. But sometimes some of the structures are more powerful than others. This is a description of the pure masochist structure, but a pure masochist structure is very unusual. If this is your dominant structure, then you may recognise some of the characteristics, but probably not all, as they will be mixed with other character structures.
How the Masochist Structure Is Formed
This structure is usually formed from 2-3 years of age but not fully working until later teens. It is formed when too much energy is focused on the child and some form of emotional manipulation leading to feelings of suffocation, guilt, and often humiliation. There is a fear of being assertive. The defence strategy is to endure.
The defence mechanism separates closeness and freedom and puts them in two mutually exclusive categories. You can have everything and feel close to someone, but you can never leave.
This is the message that the unconscious registers. Often it will come mixed with emotional manipulation “If you don’t eat your food mommy will be sad”. And so the person has to endure all sorts of things in order to be able to feel close to another.
Beneath the endurance there is anger, but it is usually hidden even from the person. Often the person will have a tendency to put on weight, as a way of pushing down the underlying anger. Physically they will tend to easily gain weight and they may have a tendency to experience problems in their intestines or stomach as well as their back and between the shoulder blades. There will be a tendency to be a bit shorter, thicker, more muscular, and possibly more body hair. Tensions in the legs, the quadriceps are common, possibly also in the gastrocnemius.
What Dynamics Can Occur In the Masochist Structure
Often the masochist will have a difficulty to say “no”, instead they will tend to endure. They will have a difficult time accepting help or advice. They will easily fall into feeling as a victim, and suffering.
They will often feel like there is a weight on their shoulders. They may have a tendency to feel a type of depression because of the overload of responsibilities and things weighing on them. This is different from the depression of the oral that comes from lack and loneliness.
Because of all the responsibilities they tend to have a hard time doing things just for them. That is something that would leave them feeling guilty. And they have a tendency to worry about others. Anxiety will often be experienced.
The personality will often be submissive and pleasing, but underneath there will be a provocative side, as if a little hidden devil.
How To Overcome Its Challenges
It is important for the masochist to learn to give to themselves that which they need. Otherwise they will continually fall into the trap of being the victim, which will feed their inaccessible anger and continue their suffering. They will continue gaining weigh and feel suffocated and anxious.
Physically one would work on grounding, releasing tensions, and accessing and releasing the underlying anger (rebellion).
Emotionally one can work on unifying the two extreme poles of “Closeness” and “Freedom”. This too is done in therapy. One of the ways to work on it alone is through affirmations.
Affirmations for the Masochist Structure
I am loved doing exactly what I want.
I am encouraged and loved following my desires.
I can be myself fully and feel close to loved ones.
How to Use the Affirmations
Say one of the affirmations and note how it feels in your body. Most likely you will feel a contraction of a sort, indicating that this is not true. The idea is to work with the affirmations until you feel that you have aligned yourself internally with them. You will know that this has happened when say the affirmation and you feel a positive, open, expansive feeling in your body.
You can work the affirmations in a gradual manner. If you feel that you are not loved when doing exactly what you want, you can start asking yourself: “What might it feel like if I were loved while doing exactly what I want?”. Then you focus on that feeling, expand it, get used to it, and practice it.
Targeted Bioenergetics Mediations
I have created three guided mediations 5, 10, and 20 minute long with binural theta beats specifically for the masochist structure.
If you would like mp3-files of all three for the price of USD 10, you can contact me and I will send them to you.
(I am still working on my website)
Want to Learn More?
Do you want to dive deeper into Bioenergetics and learn the basics of it?
I recently finished creating an online video course that is available on Udemy. Check it out and take the opportunity to learn about how you work. It is a basic instruction manual to humans.
You will not only learn more about the schizoid structure but how the structures are formed, how other structures work, how you can use negative situations to find out which polarities you need to unify, and much more.